Armageddon

I guess some people are just naturally organised. It was nearly four full months ago when Guy first made mention of a trip into Armageddon Cave. And while finalising the actual date took a little time, once it was locked in that was that. The only change being that of a last-minute addition to the expedition membership, as Gavin Holden decided to join us.

Extreme Picnicking Team - as we were to become known (photo Gavin McG)

I can’t speak for the others, but after a relaxing sleep-in/coffee-in-bed, I tidied up my gear and was ready to rumble by mid-morning of Day One. The team of Chirpy (Gavin Mk II), Jessica, Gavin (the real one) and Guy arrived in Westport after over-nighting on the ferry from Wellington for brunch about 11:30. After a cursory look about my extensive show-gardens (cough cough), we settled down to a hearty repast of tasty European salamis, vintage local cheeses, garden fresh vegies, an assortment of other delicacies, high protein offerings and of course coffee.

Product endorsement prior to setting off

Once sufficiently victualed, we were champing at the bit to get the expedition under way, and soon enough two vehicles were in convoy to the supermarket for the last of the perishable supplies. At the time there was no small amount of hilarity at the amount and types of food that Guy (our quartermaster) was purchasing. Without wishing to spoil the developing plot it is fair and reasonable to mention here that no-one was laughing by Day Four – being well found and fed as we most definitely were.

We arrived at the Fox River carpark, spilled out and assembled the components of our personal gear. Then came the classic phase of ‘oh! my! but my pack is already just so full and so heavy’, etc. etc. as the group food and gear was set out to be divvied up in some mysterious and most assuredly devious manner. I have a moderately low volume pack (really, it’s all I have…) and so I elected to take the expedition ropes as I could strap them to the outside of my pack, that and a packet of corn chips which (once deflated a little) fitted inside my cave helmet that was also strapped to the exterior. The others were left to squeeze the bulky and delicate items into their seam-stretched packs. Jessica weighed in at 16kg, me at 20.5, and the others at 21, 23 and 25! Although the two heaviest were also sporting sizeable cameras.

2:40pm and we were off! Four hours nominal tramping ahead of us meant our evening meal wouldn’t too late and everyone would be happy… Until someone decided that they really really needed an updated, uber reliable and super duper GPS fix on the entrance to the Fox River cave. ‘20 minutes there and 20 back’, they exclaimed, ‘not a moment more…’. It’s hardy worth the effort of typing it out, as you know full well that it was nothing of the sort! I will tell you that it was 4:30 by the time we were back at our packs at the ‘turnoff’ ready to head into Armageddon Bivvy. At this point the sadistic streak in me could nae help but make mention on the fact that the last time I hiked in here it didn’t take the ‘nominal’ four hours but a whacking great seven instead, so go do the maths on that… At which point I figured I needed feeding and swallowed an OSM bar (2,700Kj) on the premise that it was unlikely to spoil my appetite for tea by the time it would be ready.

Fox River Cave Entrance GPS Fixing Conference delegates (photo Gavin McG)

As it transpired the course of our hike ran smoothly and we were at the Bivvy by 8:15, four and a quarter hours hiking from the carpark if you mercifully exclude the excursion to Fox River Cave entrance. Once at the Bivvy, possies were claimed, firewood was gathered in the damp gloaming and the billy was set to boil as soon as the various components could be retrieved from their multifarious packs, which as I recall was almost exactly every single one of them. Billy, billy lid, gas canister, gas cooker, lighter all in different packs.

Coffee mends all

Moi (photo Jessica R)

Now I know it wasn’t exactly an early night, but here we were a long way in the middle of nowhere and there was caving to be done. So as the dawn chorus found its voice sometime before six, I awoke expecting to hear stirring sounds from at least some of my compatriots. Silence – from them at least, the birds chirped louder, the stream gurgled with gusto and the wind rustled the available leaves in an impatient manner. I remembered I had an alarm set for 7:30am but thought, ‘they’ll all be up by then’, but as the time ticked by and no-one stirred so much as a carabiner, I felt compelled to locate my phone and disarm the alarm a few minutes before it rang out.

Another hour drifted by and eventually a growing caffeine deficiency drove me from my corner of the bivvy. I brewed, I snapped and sorted our firewood, I sipped at a steaming billy and still they remained lifeless. If it was still Ante-Meridian when the team surface it wasn’t by much. Flashbacks to my experience on this year’s Bulmer trip swam before my eyes, ‘these guys aren’t here to go caving’, I thought, ‘they’re just here on holiday, here to bathe in our glorious fresh West Coast air and sunshine’.

Rock colouration in our intended destination

Happily I was wrong, once up the team made steady if ponderous progress toward getting the day started. There had been a little moisture in the air, but the river level had remained unchanged thus it was determined that it would be safe enough to go under ground. As the this cave floods quickly and to the roof it was as well to be sure.

Our Armageddon entrance

I had sailed along to the start of this trip under the mis-conception that we were going to attempt a dig that would, ok, might lead us to make a connection with Fox River Cave, but as we set off my alternate view on reality was harshly substituted with the ‘no, we’re just here to survey’. Ahhh…

Admiring the stals (photo Gavin McG)

Stalactite meet stalagmite (photo Gavin McG)

Our descent down the first 14m pitch was somewhat laborious despite my gambling on taking a harness from the Bivvy store to supplement our expedition count of two. This would be the awkward pinch point if the river started to rise and we wished to evacuate with decorum. We proceeded round to the main rock fall and lunched. I say lunch, but if you were a stickler for timeliness it might be better suited to another name. I climbed round to the top of Saury Shaft for a nosy thinking the others were following. But while I poked into some holes on the far side of it, they viewed it from the near side and returned to the rock fall.

Main entrance above rockfall (photo Gavin McG)

Thence the work began. Today’s project was to survey part of the cave where the river exits the Armageddon system. It looked ok on the map to me, but apparently parts of the survey were sub-standard and in places actually non-existent and it needed doing. Initially there were going to be three on the survey team and two to potter about and explore. But as things transpired the Disto and PDA work was done by one person, thus reducing the survey team’s personnel requirements to two. So the rest of us puddled about and may or may not found another largish chamber, poked into a number of small, damp and definitely unsurvey-worthy places.

After several hours of this I began to flag. I stopped hunting about and ground to a stand still. My energy levels were down, my ‘I’m-tired’ levels were up, I no longer cared if I ever saw Fox River Cave. My whistle was gone, and so was my chocolate. The technology we use to do cave surveying was no longer amazing but merely tedious and time-consuming. I’m sorry to say it but I got to the point where I had decided I never wanted to go caving with a certain Mr Holden ever again. At this, I decided to start on my way out and informed the caver nearest to me I’d be waiting for them back at the rock fall.

An hour or two later the rest of the team slithered their way up the mud to the pitch head and out. After ten hours underground, without so much as a single sip of coffee between us we headed back to the Bivvy. By the time we’d cooked tea and eaten it was 12:45am the following day. At least I knew not to be planning an early start later that morning.

Jessica returning from exploring a new passage

Morning dawned, birds sang lustily, rain-drops dripped rhythmically and the wind blew playfully, I ignored them all. Whether I slept, dozed or merely day-dreamed off-and-on I stayed put. Buried deep in my new Enlightened Equipment ‘Enigma’ quilt I was isolated, insulated and immune to the day. With expectations kept firmly to a minimum, the activities of the remainder of Sunday went well. We got underground, although I shan’t say at what time, coffee was brewed and shared and by day’s end Gavin and I were sharing in each others whiskey and all was forgiven.

Not exactly warm but a nice atmosphere anyway

I am fairly certain that this the first caving trip I’ve been on where every main meal was a three course one. The cheeses were excellent, the standard of cooking was consistently high and somehow the dishes got done without being a burden to any one person. Indeed rationing was so good that we nicknamed ourselves the Extreme Picnicking Team. As a footnote to the trip, although our walk-out time was a respectable 3 3/4 hr, because we’d started a little later than planned, it transpired that our SAR alarm was triggered. Happily when I finally got a txt through to say we were “out n safe”, and my wife phoned the CaveSAR co-ordinator back to cancel the alarm, their response was ‘what message?’, as they’d been out in the garden and missed the first call.